The events of the past few days have left me sad and hurt, not because of what some politician is trying to do to me in the name of greed and power, but because of what people who have told me they love and care about me have said how they really feel through their words and actions.
In my last post, I mentioned that I was cleared of metastatic cancer, but I am still not cured of cancer. I won't be considered cured by my doctors until it has been a year without evidence of recurrence. Further more, in order to save me from cancer, they had to give me a life-long incredibly serious condition that requires constant medication, testing, and maintenance by doctors.
I have been so unbelievably lucky thus far in that I was given charity insurance to cover my expenses, but that charity insurance was only for the first six months. I have been in tears several times this past week wondering how I'm going to be able to pay for monthly blood tests and all the other tests and doctor's visits I'll need for the next six months, plus a life time of testing and medication.
When the surgeon took out my thyroid he took away my ability to regulate my metabolism. Without medication, I will die. With improper medication I will have a drastically shortened life expectancy. With even slightly off medication, which is what I have been suffering through with the last month, I will be disabled.
When I was first diagnosed, people told me how afraid they were for me, not just that I would die but that as a full-time college student with no health insurance that I wouldn't be able to afford to get treated. Until the charity offered to cover my initial expenses, I even considered foregoing the surgery for a year or two until I could get health insurance, even though it would have increased the risk of the cancer going metastatic or simply cutting off the blood to my brain.
I was incredibly blessed, but I want you to consider another scenario. If my cancer had not been so easily treated, if my situation was more severe right now, if I weren't already dead I would be praying to die as quickly as possible so as to cost my loved ones the least amount of money. I might even be making the choice to suffer through the end. I might have had to choose to die of a curable disease as so many people in this country do, because I couldn't afford to be healthy again. Before the ACA, it would cost me more in a month to have health insurance than all of my other living expenses combined (over $1,200/month) if I could even find someone willing to cover my preexisting condition.
When you say you are against healthcare reform and the Affordable Care Act (aka Obamacare) this is what you are wishing for me. You are thanking your lucky stars that I didn't have it worse but wishing if it had been worse that I would die as quickly as possible to save on medical costs. This is what it means to me when you say it's not the right time for healthcare reform, this is what it means to me when you say the ACA is only for people who want handouts, this is what it means to me when you believe the lies that greedy people spread that we cannot afford healthcare for every American Citizen. You are saying to me: In lieu of tremendous good fortune I wish you pain and suffering, and death.
If you truly loved, if you truly acted through and thought through love, you wouldn't wish this on me. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. I wouldn't wish this on Gus, the 4 year old with a brain tumor, or the 23 year old kid who died of streppe throat. I wouldn't wish this on you.
I implore you to please think with your hearts. Think with love, with compassion for everyone because you will be surprised how many people you know whose life would be better if they could just afford to be healthy. Our system is broken and it's not going to get better without change. We have to change our hearts and our thinking. We have to love one another more than we fear what greedy people tell us to fear. I need healthcare reform. So many people need this. If you truly loved me, you would want this for me, not death and suffering.
